Bignastyshrek's Mr Rogers Story About Waifus
by bignastyshrek
Summary: I've finally did it. I wrote a fanfiction about my waifus in a Mr Rogers' style. I hope to update this regularly. Also, join the Discord! /xCQER8K
1. Chapter 1

[A room lights up, and a 40-something year old man is sitting in a chair, reading what appears to be volume 1 of The Monster Girl Encyclopedia. He looks up and smiles heartily, putting his book down.]

BIGNASTYSHREK: Oh, hi there. I didn't see you come in. Have a seat, why don't you? Let's have a little talk between neighbors. [He smiles warmly, then leans in.] Allow me to introduce myself. I'm Bignastyshrek, and this is my neighborhood. I like it here, and I hope you do as well. [He chuckles in a way that would put one at ease.]

BIGNASTYSHREK: You know what I'm thinking about today? [He pauses for a few seconds.] I'd like to go to the library and check out some books. I love reading. [He smiles again, holding the Monster Girl Encyclopedia, then puts it down and dons a serious demeanor.] But I'm almost through with this book. Why don't you come with me? [He leaves through the front door, where he sits at a bus stop for a minute, before an orange-colored fusion of a cat and bus scurries up to the stop. He boards the cat bus, and off they go to the library.]

BIGNASTYSHREK: Ah, it's such a beautiful day in my neighborhood. [He beams, a warm smile on his face again.] So, more about me, I suppose. I'm the mayor of this town, and I try my best to get along with everyone. [He sighs, relaxed.] I can't wait till we get to the library. [The cat bus mews after a while, indicating that they've reached their stop.]

BIGNASTYSHREK: Oh! Here we are. [He steps off the bus and it skitters away.] Why don't you come with me? I'd love to have a neighbor to look at books with me. [With that, he walks into the library and looks around.] I'll take you to my favorite section first. [He walks past a few corridors, leading to a vast section with lewd anime character posters on the wall.]

BIGNASTYSHREK: This is the hentai section. My favorite part of the whole library. [He leans down to pick up some DVDs and put them in his library bag, before noticing another humanoid in the hentai section.] Oh, hold on a moment. [Following that, he raises his voice only slightly to call attention to her, as they are in a library.] Aqua! [The blue-haired woman who stars in KonoSuba looks back, smiles, and waves.]

AQUA: Bignastyshrek! How are you doing today? [She smiles, holding a few hentai DVDs to her chest, before putting them in her bag.]

BIGNASTYSHREK: I'm doing mighty fine myself, Aqua. [He faces towards the audience again.] Oh, sorry. Neighbor, this is my friend Aqua. I've known her for a good while now. She's a high priest around here. [He turns and faces Aqua again.] So what were you looking for here in the library?

AQUA: Well, besides the hentai which I've already found, I've come here looking for doujinshis.

BIGNASTYSHREK: What a coincidence! I needed to find some doujins too! What say we head there together with our new neighbor?

AQUA: I like that idea! Come on, neighbor! Let's look for some doujins! [The two head on their way to the doujinshi section, looking for whatever seems to be fun.]

BIGNASTYSHREK: Doujinshis can be lots of fun too. I wonder if they've acquired any new doujins here. [He smiles, then grabs a few doujins, as Aqua does the same.]

AQUA: Hey, is that Isabelle? [She notices an anthropomorphic dog, famous from Animal Crossing, looking at doujins too.] Isabelle! [She shouts, before being shushed by Bignastyshrek.]

BIGNASTYSHREK: Quiet in the library. But that is Isabelle, isn't it? [Isabelle notices Bignastyshrek and Aqua, then comes over to join them.]

ISABELLE: Mayor! Aqua! [She keeps her voice down, but is still clearly excited to see her friends.] What are you here for today? I'm here looking for hentai and doujins.

BIGNASTYSHREK: For real? That's what me and Aqua were here for as well. How about after we're all done here, we go back to my house and have a little, say, get-together?

ISABELLE: Oh, that would be fantastic! I've got a few good doujins and hentai all here. Are we ready to check out?

BIGNASTYSHREK: Almost. There's one more thing I needed here, and I know where it might be. You're fine to come, if you want. [He leads the way towards his destination – a shelf with the Monster Girl Encyclopediae, and the girls soon follow.] Here it is. The next volume of the Monster Girl Encyclopedia series. [He picks up the next volume, then joins his companions. Now I'm ready to check out. [With that, the three of them go to the library counter to check out their books.]

AQUA: I'm so glad I found you both here at the library. I didn't have any plans for tonight, but now we can all do something together! [As she says that, all three of them finish checking their books out.]

BIGNASTYSHREK: Well, that'll be everything. You both ready to head back now?

ISABELLE: Yeah! I can't wait to watch hentai and read doujinshi with my friends!

BIGNASTYSHREK: Oh, I forgot to ask. Wouldn't you like to come with us, neighbor? I hope you're excited to join as well. [After that exchange, they stand at the bus stop waiting for the cat bus. It arrives shortly, and the three board with their library bags in tow. After a few minutes, they are dropped off at Bignastyshrek's house.]

AQUA: So, what should we do first? I think we should watch hentai first. [She beams, holding a hentai DVD out of the bag.]

BIGNASTYSHREK: Sounds good! [He faces the audience again.] Reading is always more fun in groups. You can read, talk about your favorite books, and so much more!

ISABELLE: What are we waiting for? Let's go ahead and get started!

BIGNASTYSHREK: Well, looks like that's all the time we have today, neighbor. It's time for me to watch hentai and read doujins with these waifus here. I can't wait to see you in my neighborhood again.


	2. Chapter 2

[A familiar-looking room lights up, and a 40-something year old man is relaxing in a chair, just like earlier. He notices your presence, then smiles and looks up.]

BIGNASTYSHREK: Hello there, neighbor. Good to see you again. [His smile conveys that he is quite content at the moment, but suddenly changes to a frown, as if he suddenly realized something.] You know, two of my dearest friends just got in a fight, Jenny and Curly Brace. They're very upset with each other. A shame, really. They used to be such good friends. Let's check on them, why don't we? [He gets out of his chair and heads towards his door, soon opening it and walking outside, where he can see the two robot girls both fuming at each other. He approaches Jenny, the robot starring in My Life as a Teenage Robot, who is very upset with the robot who stars in Cave Story.]

BIGNASTYSHREK: Whoa, whoa, whoa, Jenny? What's got your gears so grinded all of a sudden? [He asks, trying to find out what the problem is.]

JENNY: Oh, it's nothing much, Bignastyshrek. But SOMEBODY stole my oil can!

CURLY BRACE: I did not steal your oil can! I don't know where it went, but I didn't steal it!

JENNY: Yes you did! I know it was you!

BIGNASTYSHREK: Whoa, whoa, calm down. Let's just all calm down and talk this out. Just amongst neighbors, eh? [He smiles, trying to lighten the situation.]

JENNY & CURLY BRACE: Fine…

BIGNASTYSHREK: Okay, so Curly Brace, do you have Jenny's oil can?

CURLY BRACE: No, I don't. I don't know how it got lost, but I don't have it.

BIGNASTYSHREK: And Jenny, where did you see your oil can last?

JENNY: It was in my room, right after me and Curly Brace got done with a sleepover. When she left, it was gone! I know she took it!

BIGNASTYSHREK: Whoa now, no need to get fired up. If Curly Brace truthfully doesn't have it, then why should we be mad at her? Maybe someone else has it. Maybe you just lost it.

JENNY: I wouldn't lose it! It's my favorite oil can, I don't use any other one!

BIGNASTYSHREK: Well, how much would a replacement be?

JENNY: It was made by my mother, Dr. Wakeman. I don't know if she would be able to make another.

BIGNASTYSHREK: Well, if we can't get another, and if Curly Brace doesn't have it, and if we really need to find it, then I suggest we go search for it. I'll be happy to join you on the condition that both of you don't fight on the trip. Is that okay?

JENNY: Fine by me. I'm sorry I got mad at you, Curly Brace.

CURLY BRACE: It's fine, really. But we have more important matters. Let's find your oil can! I'll do whatever I can to make it up to you!

[With that said, the three friends spend the rest of the day searching for Jenny's missing oil can. They ask around, everywhere in town, before soon reaching the outskirts.]

JENNY: We've searched all day and still haven't found it… I'll never find my oil can.

CURLY BRACE: Hey… what's this black stuff on the ground?

JENNY: [She looks at the ground intently.] Hey, that's oil! And the same kind of oil from my can! My oil can isn't far from here!

BIGNASTYSHREK: Oh, we're getting close to the hoes' territory. This is a city I don't like going to. But we better find that oil can, and there's no doubt it's here! [The squad notices more oil, leading down into a house of a major thot. Bignastyshrek gulps in nervousness at noticing who lives there, Moxxi who stars in the hit game series Borderlands.] This is Moxxi's house. She's one of the baddest thots there is. I know she took the oil can, probably as a gift for Scooter. I know she has the hots for that crazy mechanic. We need to run in and take that oil from her for you, Jenny!

JENNY: I got this.

CURLY BRACE: No, we got this. [The two of them smile at each other and lead Bignastyshrek into Moxxi's house to comfort him, before they eventually see Moxxi and confront her.]

MOXXI: Oh, it's the poor little robot who's oil I took! What are you doing back here, forgot to gift wrap the present or something?

BIGNASTYSHREK: What you did was unforgivable. I demand that you give her oil can back immediately!

MOXXI: Oh, but what will I tell Scooter? That I lost his present?

JENNY: Give it back to me, or else?

MOXXI: Or else what?

CURLY BRACE: Or else this! [She pulls out a gun and Jenny shifts her body to have big fists, then they proceed to beat up Moxxi, while Bignastyshrek cowers a distance away. After the battle is through and Moxxi is unconscious, they find Bignastyshrek to reassure him everything is alright.]

CURLY BRACE: Don't worry, we got the oil can. We can go home now.

JENNY: Yeah, thanks for taking us here. I never would have found my oil can if it weren't for you.

BIGNASTYSHREK [Still mildly shook]: Well, I'm glad you two have everything sorted out. I think it's a good idea to head home now. [The three friends begin walking back home, with Jenny's oil can in tow. After a few minutes of walking, they are back home, and Bignastyshrek sits in his chair.]

BIGNASTYSHREK: Phew, what a day. As you can see, this was quite a trip. We lost an oil can, found it again, and beat up an evil thot who wanted to give it away as a present. What's the moral of the story? Well, it's never a good idea to solve problems with fighting, unless that problem involves a thot. It's preferable to talk things out first, then fight later, unless it's a thot you're dealing with. Well, that'll be all for today. I can't wait to see you in my neighborhood again.


End file.
